As a counselor, I've seen a lot, and it's always changing. There is an old war saying, “The darkest hour is right before the dawn.” Sometimes in our lives, it seems as if the darkest hour is actually right before it goes completely black!

Many of us have heard testimonies of how God healed someone in amazing ways. Or, answered prayers for marriages or finances in powerfully positive ways. But what if you are living in prolonged agony where circumstances are not changing?

How do you keep from despairing? God wants to give you a lifeline in the midst of your darkness so you may have hope.

First, don’t be afraid to call darkness what it is: dark. This is your reality - as a faith counselor, I've seen it many times. Do not minimize this reality to make yourself look good, or to fool yourself. Don't try to handle things without any help from God or others.

Choose your friends wisely. Choose people secure enough in their relationships with God. They should not be threatened or worried by the messiness of your feelings and thoughts. Acknowledge your feelings to yourself and to God. God can handle your mess. He has already entered into it.

In fact, it is God himself that draws the boundary line on how much and how long the darkness will last. Because He is faithful in how He draws the limit, He won’t let the darkness overtake you or consume you.

How Do We Know?

Lamentations 3:19-22 is a good example of both honest expression of feeling and acknowledgement of God’s character: “I remember my affliction and my wandering … and my soul is downcast within me." A faith counselor can point this out, and we see it time and time again.

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of God’s great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.” God protects us from our distorted thinking even in the midst of our darkness.

How Can You Cope?

Prayer, simple honest dialogue with God, is one of the ways by which God will point you to Himself. He can reveal himself as the source of truly satisfying water. God has created us with the ability to thirst.

In the midst of our darkness, when our circumstances are not changing, we often find ourselves emotionally thirsty. Honestly, with an acute ‘dry mouth.’ In reality, this is God’s gift to us. He is pursuing us and wants to guide us in the dark. Prayer is where we become honest about ourselves.

Out of His love for us, He exposes areas of distrust, cynicism, false guilt, and even idols of our heart--those things we cherish more than we do God (e.g., the perfect marriage, family, comfort etc.).

He shows us our own helplessness to change ourselves, rather than our circumstances. If we continue to talk honestly to God and seek to listen to Him, He will show us who He is.

As part of our honest wrestling with God, we can pray His many promises back to Him, acknowledging our struggles to believe and asking Him to help us in our unbelief. Jacob wrestled with an angel, despite great pain, until the angel blessed him (Genesis 32:22-28).

What Are Some More Biblical Examples?

Rather than harshly reacting to the unbelief of his disciple Thomas, Jesus invited him to touch his side and feel the holes from his crucifixion (John 20:26-29). God is always changing darkness into light, even if that light is only in our hearts and not shown in external circumstances.

Remember, God does contain our darkness. He promises to give us His grace for the moment. Not necessarily the amount of grace we desire, but definitely the amount we need. When a faith counselor walks alongside us, we can discover that there is much more than meets the eye.

While there is nothing pleasant about darkness itself, it does give us a unique opportunity for intimacy with God and personal growth. When dark truly does become black, then and only then does God become truly our ONLY source of light.

When God Himself is truly enough for us, our contentment is not dependent on His changing our circumstances. Our darkness may still be black, but we will experience positive changes in our heart.

We will have assurance that we are truly not alone. This certainty nullifies the power of darkness. Jesus knew what it was like to be in blackness even before His death.

Yet, in John 16:32, he modeled assurance when talking with his disciples: “But a time is coming…when you will be scattered. You will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.”

God As The Anchor Of Our Soul

We will also know that God IS the ‘anchor’ of our soul (Hebrews 6:19). Jesus went through the darkest of the darkness on our behalf to create a pathway to God for us.

Thus, as we wrestle with God, we will learn how to come boldly (and honestly) to His throne of grace so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16). A faith counselor can help wrestle through this. Finally, even in our darkness, we find that God deeply satisfies our thirst and gives us peace that surpasses understanding.

Right now you may be in a very dark place. But know that there is a lifeline, something to grasp when there is danger of falling or being washed away.

Your circumstances and your soul may be going from dark to black with no dawn in sight. You may be being tossed about by turbulent waves in the storm. But your ‘boat’ is safe, whether or not you realize it.

Way below the waves, your anchor is firm and secure. While in the darkness of your storm, being honest with God and holding onto His truths is your lifeline.