Articles

Dealing With and Healing From Burnout

By Dave Wiedis, M.S., J.D.

Burnout! Twenty-five years ago I knew I was burned out when I carelessly walked in front of a SEPTA bus, and stupidly tried to defensively block it with a karate move. I had been working in a large Philadelphia law firm and the relentless pressure and demands of practicing law had gradually depleted my energy and judgment (who walks in front of a bus and tries to block it??). The near miss with the SEPTA bus, whose driver’s quick reflexes saved me from tragedy, convinced me that I was beyond burned out, needed a break, and had to make wiser choices in my life.

Burnout is a real problem, and for pastors, it is a real threat to you, your family, your ministry and your church. According to one study on why pastors leave the ministry (Yearofjubilee.org), moral failure is only the second most common reason pastors leave the ministry. The first is burnout.

What is Burnout?

It is a state of physical and emotional exhaustion, attrition of vitality, and depletion of energy that significantly interferes with one’s ability to function. Burnout often arises from a combination of factors. These include constant pressure of the fast pace of life, failure to rest, a real or perceived sense of isolation, being a perfectionist, over-committing and failing to delegate, and having high, unrealistic expectation levels that are dramatically opposed to reality. Over time, burnout will increasingly cause you to lose your ability to perform your job and relate well to others.

Classic Symptoms of Burnout.

When burnout runs its course, pastors often report that they have no initiative or drive, little energy, don’t want to visit with people, and just want to be left alone. Other symptoms include depression, anxiety, irritability, and disillusionment with people, loss of confidence, a feeling of being mistreated, and feelings of detachment. Of course, with the intense and unrelenting demands of ministry there is a spiral effect: Burnout causes inefficiency; inefficiency creates increasing demands; demands create pressure and concomitant guilt for not achieving desired goals; added pressure and guilt causes stress; stress causes a depletion of energy and drive which in turn causes inefficiency.

Sound familiar? Want to get off that vicious merry-go-round?

Suggestions for Relief and Avoiding Future Burnout:

1. “Take heed to yourself” in accordance with Paul’s exhortation to Pastor Timothy (1 Tim. 4:16). Paul was first concerned with Timothy the person before he was concerned for Timothy the pastor. Many pastors are reluctant to take an honest look at their own lives. Most would rather focus on the second part of Paul’s exhortation (“take heed to . . . the doctrine”) and ignore Paul’s command to “take heed to yourself” (translation: pay careful attention to your life). However, Paul understood the wounds, discouragement, and fears that besieged Timothy and afflicts many pastors. Accordingly, pastors need to heed Paul’s wise command to pay careful attention to yourself. This includes remembering your calling and the redemptive story of God’s hand in your life, taking an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, and wisely providing care for yourself and your family.

2. Cultivate dependence on God for the strength and power needed in your ministry. Remember, your ministry is not yours – it is God’s. He has called you and He must accomplish His work in you. Therefore, stop trying to control what you can’t control and manage what you have no business managing. This includes, managing other’s opinions of you, and their reactions to you.

3. Lower your expectations (and those of your congregation). Learn to say no and to delegate by asking others to employ their gifts. Biblically speaking, being a pastor is not a one-man show. Have you turned it into one?

4. Learn to balance your life and pace yourself. Remember that ministry is not a sprint, it is a marathon. Take the long view and realize that sometimes slowing down will make you more effective. Create margins of time so that you are not always rushed. Take frequent breaks. Give yourself permission to take a nap and to rest.

5. Regularly create time away to get refreshed. When I coach pastors they often look at me incredulously when I tell them to include time spent in solitude, recreation, and refreshment as part of their working hours. Why? Because your “job” requires you to be spiritually fit and you can’t be in good spiritual condition by always being on the go. Jesus often “withdrew to a quiet place” and effectively said “no” to ministry opportunities. You should do no less. A practical way to actually implement this suggestion is to regularly schedule your times of refreshment on your calendar and treat them as “real” appointments. If you are asked for a meeting at that time your honest response will be, “I have an appointment.” Protecting these “appointments” is not being selfish, it is exercising good stewardship, will increase your effectiveness, and will protect you from burnout.

6. Cultivate interests that are not directly related to your work as a pastor. It is refreshing to engage in activities where you are not the one in charge, the one in the know, and the one who must make it happen! Sports, gardening, fishing, carpentry, reading, biking, camping, hang gliding, kayaking, bird watching, and stamp collecting, are just some activities that offer healthy distractions from ministry that will refresh you. An added bonus will be the metaphors and illustrations that will later aid you in sermon prep and counseling.

7. Develop a sense of humor so that you can laugh at yourself and difficult situations. Laughter is an antidote to cynicism and sarcasm.

8. Pay careful attention to your diet, exercise and sleep patterns. Don’t underestimate the importance of staying physically healthy and daily exercise. Endorphins are God’s natural high achieved by sweat and hard work!

9. Seek intimate fellowship with pastors and others with whom you can share your burdens. A common theme I see in counseling pastors is their sense of isolation and loneliness. This only exacerbates the problems. There are likely many other pastors in your city or town. They are also enduring similar struggles. Seek them out, and cultivate deep relationships with them. Share your successes, challenges and struggles. Don’t buy into the lie that you “have to keep up appearances” and “protect your turf.” Yes, you must use wisdom in what and with whom you share. However, protecting one’s reputation is often used as an excuse to stay entrenched in isolation. I have the privilege of attending a weekly informal breakfast meeting of pastors and ministry leaders. Much refreshment, sharing and help goes on while sharing a meal. By developing peer relationships you give God an opportunity to create friendships, alliances and ministry opportunities that may surprise you.

10. Get help if you need it. I know that you are used to being the one in control, doing the counseling, being there for those who are hurting, and keeping everyone else all together. I also know that some pastors don’t believe in being too “introspective” and see counseling as something that “other people” need. You spend much of your time in the trenches with people who are suffering, helping them to overcome temptation, and to deal with their personal issues and problems. It is those who are in the helping profession who are most at risk for burnout. And recognizing that you’re getting burned out shouldn’t require anything as dramatic as almost getting hit by a bus. In his provocative article “Death by Ministry” Pastor Mark Driscoll stated that it may be wise and appropriate to “meet with a Biblical counselor to get insight on your own life and tendencies.” One of the best things you can do for your ministry, yourself, and your family may be to visit with a trusted counselor who can be there for you, provide insight and feedback and help you along the way.

*Special thanks to my friend Pastor Stan Allaby for inspiration for this article.

DANGER: FOOD ALLERGIES, STRAIGHT PINS AND CHRISTMAS

by Dave Wiedis, M.S., J.D.

“Items NOT Permitted: No Christmas, Chanukah or religious items, No Santa, candy canes or stockings, No Food – Allergies, No glass or other breakables, or straight pins.”

And so begins the list of items prohibited at the Byam Elementary School four-day “holiday” “Gift Room” sale. Menorahs, crosses, Stars of David, and even red and green tissue wrapping have been banned as well.

Do Christmas and Chanukah really pose as much a threat as anaphylactic shock and broken glass? Why are these and other religious items banned?  Donald Yeoman, Superintendent of Chelmsford Public Schools explained, “Like most of Massachusetts, Chelmsford has a wide variety of cultures and they celebrate many religions and out of respect for all of those religions it was determined in 1982, let’s just make this a generic fundraiser.”  Translation: In the name of diversity and tolerance, we won’t tolerate religion!  He added that the school’s PTO (which developed the policy) has “taken a conservative approach to separation of church and state…, and I commend them.”

This is not the first time such politically correct rules have been enacted in the name of diversity.  Over the past few years we have seen Christmas music banned by school administrators in New Jersey, red and green plates banned from a school in Texas, and the traditional display of red poinsettias banned in Wisconsin and Minnesota.

Thus, in a nation that was founded as a refuge for religious freedom by Christians who worshipped the Savior born in Bethlehem, some people with a twisted understanding of the First Amendment have imposed policies intent on destroying the religious foundation on which this nation was built.

The truth is, the Constitution does not prohibit public schools from recognizing the religious significance of holidays such as Christmas, does not prohibit students from singing religious Christmas carols, and certainly allows students to sell religious items such as crosses, candy canes or menorahs.   According to the Alliance Defense Fund (“ADF”), “The Supreme Court has stated that teachers and students do not ’shed their constitutional rights to freedom of speech or expression at the schoolhouse gate.’ Guidelines issued by U.S. Secretary of Education Riley (under President Clinton) state ’students therefore have the same right to engage in…religious discussion during the school day as they do to engage in other comparable activity.’ Teachers have the right to greet students with the words ‘Merry Christmas,’ in spite of their role as agents of the state. Saying a simple greeting that people commonly use in December does not violate the Establishment Clause.”

With respect to the Chelmsford Public Schools banning of religious items in their sale, ADF Senior Counsel Jordan Lorence noted, “Ignoring the 95 percent of Americans who celebrate Christmas is not tolerance.  It’s also not necessary because the idea that gifts related to Christmas would be unconstitutional at this sale is patently false.  There is no justifiable legal reason to exclude Christmas, Hanukkah, and other ‘religious items’ from this event.  The urban legend that Christmas poses a constitutional problem has come about because of the larger war waged by the secular Left to erase any trace of the religious traditions and beliefs that are part of the history and cultural fabric of our nation.”

Disputing the Chelmsford Superintendant’s understanding of the separation of church and state, Lorence further explained, “That understanding of the First Amendment is 100 percent false.  The Constitution does not prohibit Santa Claus and candy canes from being sold at a school gift sale, nor does it prohibit the donation of religious items to such an event.  We would gladly defend the school free of charge if it agreed to accept such items and was later sued.”

At The Providence Forum we believe that the truth about the religious foundation of our nation should not only be taught, it should be celebrated.   We are helping educate tens of thousands of Americans to understand how in God’s providence, the United States was established as a refuge of religious liberty.  We are teaching many more that the First Amendment was intended to keep the government from intruding on the church, not to scrub religion out of the public square. Join us as we celebrate our religious liberty by wishing Merry Christmas to one and to all!  It’s not dangerous or hazardous.  It won’t give you anaphylactic shock.  It will bless you and bless others.  Merry Christmas!!!

Editors Note:  This article is a reprint from a newsletter of The Providence Forum, a wonderful organization that seeks to preserve, defend and advance the faith and values consistent with those of our nation’s founding.  I am on the Board of Directors and also serve as their part-time Chief Operating Officer.